Unlearning people pleasing takes a lot of bravery, deep nervous system rewiring, healing old traumas and risking the loss of everyone who benefited from your lack of boundaries 🙃 But it’s a necessary step if you want to truly free yourself. 💙 I enjoyed reading this piece.
I personally am not much of a people pleaser, I'm happier to rub someone the wrong way than to stroke their ego.
Late last year and earlier this year I had a friend who was struggling a lot to break her newfound habit to give in to everyone, to say yes, and show up for everything and everyone else when she couldn't do it for herself. She was running herself into the dirt, lying and saying she was fine, apologizing for crying, feeling guilt she never should have felt.
In this conversation, towards the end I basically I told her that she was above the people around her, more capable, and I failed to understand why she was in the position she was in given who she is. The part I want to leave you with though and I told her was "stop being digestible, if you're hard to swallow then let them choke".
The people meant to be in your life and part of you will come and go and love will find its way to you in all forms.
Wow, thank you for sharing this. That line: ‘stop being digestible, if you’re hard to swallow then let them choke’ really struck me. It feels like the perfect counter to the instinct I wrote about: shrinking, softening, apologizing. I love how you framed it for your friend, and it’s a reminder I need too. I’m glad this piece resonated enough to spark that memory for you 🖤 and I always loooove talking to you!!
Unlearning people pleasing takes a lot of bravery, deep nervous system rewiring, healing old traumas and risking the loss of everyone who benefited from your lack of boundaries 🙃 But it’s a necessary step if you want to truly free yourself. 💙 I enjoyed reading this piece.
Thanks so much Usisiphiwo!! Always means a lot❤️
I personally am not much of a people pleaser, I'm happier to rub someone the wrong way than to stroke their ego.
Late last year and earlier this year I had a friend who was struggling a lot to break her newfound habit to give in to everyone, to say yes, and show up for everything and everyone else when she couldn't do it for herself. She was running herself into the dirt, lying and saying she was fine, apologizing for crying, feeling guilt she never should have felt.
In this conversation, towards the end I basically I told her that she was above the people around her, more capable, and I failed to understand why she was in the position she was in given who she is. The part I want to leave you with though and I told her was "stop being digestible, if you're hard to swallow then let them choke".
The people meant to be in your life and part of you will come and go and love will find its way to you in all forms.
I hope to talk more soon 🖤
Wow, thank you for sharing this. That line: ‘stop being digestible, if you’re hard to swallow then let them choke’ really struck me. It feels like the perfect counter to the instinct I wrote about: shrinking, softening, apologizing. I love how you framed it for your friend, and it’s a reminder I need too. I’m glad this piece resonated enough to spark that memory for you 🖤 and I always loooove talking to you!!
this..!! :(
:’(